christmas

so it was our first christmas as a family of four. mixed feelings really. my dad did all the shopping, and figureing out what we wanted. way less gifts under the tree. but for some reason, it felt so right. he was so worried that he didn't do well, that we didn't get what we wanted or that nothing would fit, or we didn't have enough. but we woke up that morning to find the perfect amount of gifts under the tree. we open them and got all that we wanted or needed. nothing more, nothing less. all the clothes fit and we loved it all.
so then we go to our aunts house, to have a great time with the family. we played wii, ate great food and saw the cousins. shared tons of laughs and talked all night. we also left gift on a few peoples doors, to thank them for being a blessing to our family.
the next morning i was planningon sleeping in, but that was ruined when our doorbell rang and i heard joy to the world being sung.
i go to open the dor to see the gordons singing handing us cookies. they came to thank us for the gifts and caroled for us. it was amazing. then we get a call from our family, saying they were coming over tomorrow (today)
so we cleaned and got food, ready for them to come. so they all came today, to our house. it was the first time in years weve had all of our family over. so we threw a party for no apperant reason. it was great, half of them havnt even been here before. and they brought there new puppy they were trying to sell. who had neverseen a cat, and our cat had never seen a dog. but at the end of the night, they ended up falling asleep together. we all had a great time, playing games and laughing.
so i realized, the greatest thing ever, to get you through god times and bad, is family and friends. they never let you down, and always create a great time to be had. i love all of you guys. thanks for making my holidays great!

what to do....

so i get this email from my grandma. shes askingme if i wanna go to visitation this weekend cuz theyre decorating a tree and stuff like that. and i do want to go actually. but only to have fun with my sisters and see my grandparents. but i do not want to see my mom. which is the whole point of visitation. i could just go and ignore her. but its her house and thats rude. she even left me that one message saying she doesn't care if i'm out of herlife. its just going to be so awkward. especially after court and stuff...
like really, i just took her kids away from her, said all this crap about her, in front of her, and now i'm going to her house? that doesn't make sense....
but my grandmas being such a butt and won't come to see me unless i see my mom. thats not fair. i didn't put myself in this. its not my fault my mom threatnad me, then said a bunch of lies, that basically changed my life. its not. its not fair. and what the hell am i supposed to do?!
and how is that gonna look. daughter hates mother, then goes to her house once court is over. yeah, if that doesn't look like a lie then i don't know what does. its just a bunch of crap. really. so now todays gonna be a weird day, cuz i don't know what the hell to do....
should i email her back? talk to her about it? i just don't know....
i hate this