good luck

I havn't been on here in awhile, simply because I really havn't had anything worth blogging about. So then yesterday I thought wow, i'm having a really good day and i'm really happy, the today, I thought, i'm even happier, I should blog about this to remember it. I told myself i'd do it later. and here I am, blogging. But guess what, it's not for the same reason as I wanted to blog before. this morning, I was so happy, everything was going good, I was getting my work done, had my time to myself, I was on cloud nine. then, I realized my books wern't gonna be here in time, that I had this and that to do. I realized I am responsible for not only myself but my sisters as well. and that someone, is taking that away from me. and my computer sucks.
So the reason i'll be crying myself to sleep tonight? simple, I'm as hated as the dog shit on your shoe. No one wants me around, because i'm mom now. i'm the one that knows whats right and wrong. i'm the one that gives permission. i'm the one that makes peace out of things. and guess what, daughters always bitch and complain about there moms to there friends. and then there friends hate them as well, cuz nothing that you do is right. sucks that kaity and jaquie has the same friends as me.
basically, what i've wanted to scream out every second of the day, is fuck you! let me have my say back. my voice.i'm the sister, I have the legal ownership of the, so let my do my fuckin' job. you can't just come in here and assume you're always right. look whats happend, everything is fucked up, we're all torn apart, and it was never like this before. stop complaining about what the head of the household has to say. guess what? it's not your house!
now I know this is bad, and now whoever reads it is gonna hate me, but I can't take it anymore. when my best friend has decided to hate me, and go to you about it, I feel like I have no more reason to be on this earth. and to answer your question, when you said what is bothering you. you just read it. this, is why I cry myself to sleep every night. I have lost everyone. that ever meant anything to me. first my best friend. then my biggest role model, grandpa, then my mother, and now my best friend i've ever had, they're all gone. forever. I can't do anything about it but watch it happen. so you know what? sleep when ever the hell you want. don't ask me for advice, don't ask me to do your dirty work, lie for you, or fix the mess you've gotten yourself into. no more i'm I doing it. you're on your own. good luck