bittersweet

so today was actually a good day. i got some well needed time with my family. I havn't seen them in a long time, and I really needed it. but then, I realized that because of my carelessness, I kinda left some people out of my life.
I guess lately I have just been so upset, so stressed, so busy. I forgot the people that truly matter. I messed up.
I heard some things that really upset me. Like really upset me. I tried to hide it. I was doing good for a little while. no one could tell, so I got upstairs, alone in my room, and I couldn''t hold it in anymore. I cried, i'm crying still. I didn't just cry. like, it was bad, horrible, I havn't cried liek that in a long time. I broke my ankle, lost my mom, went to court, got shots, thought i had cancer, so much, but all that could not add up to how much I cried tonight. I let it out. so I thought thats fine, but then she came in. she saw something was wrong, and asked, but before she could get it out, she ran to me and hugged me, she said it's ok, it's gonna be ok. she just layed there with me while I cried and hugged me.
She cared. it's what i've been wanting for so long. almost a year now. for her to care. and she finally showed it tonight.
I have been wanting her to do that simple act for so long. and tonight it happend. I am still upset and scared as hell, I can't sing, can't even listen to music. nothing. I kinda feel like the happiest part of life is gone. now I just have to sit around and help people till my time comes. sit here and wait to die.
I need to do something about this. I need to fix things. I need to move far away or something.I don't know, but i'm scared