My heart lately

is torn apart, and only I seem to know why. no amount of words can explain what i'm feeling.
I know i'm being looked out for, I know they care, but also, I am 19, and I think I can make a few choices on my own. I've been without a mother for awhile now. I don't have a mom to talk to, I never did, and I was able to make my own choices then, so why is it different now?
I hate that there is only one person that is truly listening to me. I don't mean listening like hearing what I'm saying, I mean listening like actually understanding what i'm saying, seeing my point. just like i am seeing your point. and i am understanding it. and willing to compromise

I don't know that you realize that I cry every night. because I am going through what you are, but I am also going through a lot more. i really don't know what to say except for the fact that I am very angry. the blame has been put on me. I am being treated like a child with responsibilties of an adult. all my friends are turning on me when i need them most. my family wants to help but are really makeing it even harder to deal with.

I have been shoved in a corner, and I need to get out. I kind of feel like, like nothing is worth it anymore. I question my purpose here on earth. it's gotten so bad, thati cannot eat. I feel sick to my stomach, I don't have energy, and I am very quiet, everytime i think about it i want to throw up. buti need to stay strong. i can't even sing anymore.... and that's saying a lot.

I know where you all are coming from, I get it, you've gotten enough people to shove it down my throat. but maybe, is it possible to at least consider my thoughts too? thats all i'm asking. as your friend, your sister, your family. what ever i am. i need someone too......