trust

There's not a lot of people that I trust 100%. In fact, I don't know that there are even more then 5. It used to be, that I trusted so many people, everyone. I trusted way too easily. then, the person everyone is supposed to trust the most, my own mother, left me. she hurt me. and I will never get over it. since then, I have trusted very few, but there have still been a handful.
over the last few years, I have come across so many new people, they have all become best friends. I told them everything. I trusted them completely. then, the first one tells me we can't be friends, sure enough, we're not talking. then, mosr and more of these new found friends, are gone.
so now, i'm down to the very few. it is getting to be the worst time for everyone, and i'm the one helping. and I turn to only a few people to tell everything to.
trust is a word that scares me. more like an act that scares me. i am finding out more and more tht so many people trust me. and they have a reason too. I never tell secrets, and its so hard. but I know how it is. i try to never let anyone down, or break promises. but it's so hard, to hold someone elses secret as your own. it's easy to let your own secrets slip. trust someone with them, but not with someone elses.
really i'm just rambling, and not feeling well, and have too many butterflies, not sure if they're good or bad. and i'm scared but I don't know what about. and.......
yeah, thank god for blogspot.